Anaconda

Jon Voight got his Oscar for the wrong movie.

Sure, Coming Home is a sensitively-told tale of Vietnam War vets coming to terms with life back on the home front and all, but come on, Angelina Jolie’s dad truly knocked it out of the park in this man vs. snake epic.

Playing a crusty big game hunter with a mysterious scar and a propensity for sneering at everyone, he rasps his dialogue, creeps everyone out, and gets one of the best death scenes in movie history.

Before you scream, “Hyperbole!” at me, whippersnapper, feast your peepers on this:

 

Bottle Rocket

The movie that almost broke a small town.

Way back in the early days of my video store life, I saw this gem, the first film from Wes Anderson, at 2 AM and fell in love.

Roused from sleep by a nasty headache, the tale of bumbling wannabe thieves struck something deep within me.

And thus I pledged that if we got three VHS copies (at eye-popping old school ’90s prices), I would rent those babies a combined 300 times.

I did, and at least nine people remain thrilled about it to this day.

The other 291 families? They’ll get over it.

Eventually…