Cutthroat Island

Eat my shorts, “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

This is the swashbuckling epic which should have been a huge worldwide hit, pieces o’ eight raining down in the studio coffers all day and night.

It’s got Geena Davis kickin’ butt and takin’ names as a pirate captain who waits for no man to save her, Matthew Modine as a plucky sidekick, and a full-throated Frank Langella as the devil of the high seas.

Action, intrigue, even a little (clumsy) comedy, all topped with one of the best send-offs in cinematic history (“Bad Dawg!”).

What’s not to love, ya scurvy landlubbers?