The Pit

Don’t talk back to Teddy.

The creepy bear at the heart of this demented early ’80s thriller is the kind of creature who frequently gets up to no good, telling his 12-year-old owner to chuck people to their death.

The pit in which they go splat, conveniently located in the nearby woods, contains a pack of mysterious, meat-eating creatures our young “hero” labels the Tra-La-Logs.

My, what big teeth you all have. The better to dispose of anyone who pisses me off at school.

Campy and delirious, this remains a primo WTF film which must be seen to be believed.

Alone Time

Somebody’s watching me.

The star of this creepy lil’ short film is a stressed-out young woman played by stage star Rose Hemingway.

Everywhere she turns in the big city, people loom at her, invading her personal space, lingering just a split-second too long for comfort.

Looking to get away, to get some … alone time, Hemingway takes off on a solo trip deep into the dark, silent woods, which immediately conjures up all sorts of possible bad ways this could end.

But give director Rod Blackhurst more credit, as he crafts something else entirely, with a wowza of a stinger.

 

Clearwater

Roll the dice, get a winner.

When I hit play on this short film, I knew nothing, and that’s the best way to experience it.

It was six minutes, the photo was of a stunning woman in a bikini, and hey, it was six minutes.

If it was bad, not a lot of my life thrown away.

But lo and behold it was good, really good.

It works perfectly as is, yet there’s also so much more writer/director/producer/VFX artist/sound designer Rob Jabbaz and star Joan Loluo could do with the idea.

Someone get them some serious bucks, chop, chop!

 

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

You see trash, I see … good trash.

Now, no one is saying this hack n’ slash murder mystery, set on a Texas ranch in the middle of nowhere, is filled with Oscar-worthy acting or has anything especially deep to say.

It is what it is.

But, as a dude who loves his ’80s slashers unironically, this 2006 flick, which struggled for years to get released in theaters, can stand on its own merits.

There are twists and turns, and the finale flips the usual script firmly on its head, providing — for me, at least — a genuine melancholy to what has transpired.

Model Citizen

Perfectly horrifying.

A beautifully-rendered look at a dystopian animated world where robots make the rules, and the humans go along to get along.

You do what you can to be a model citizen, to fulfill your role in life, no matter what dark fate may be coming around the bend.

Give director David James Armsby five minutes, and he’ll deliver a a creepy lil’ sci fi gem.