Rockabilly Vampire

The music is in his blood.

Shot on a budget of about $1.65, this giddy mashup of Elvis and Dracula, all set to a rockin’ backbeat, probably won’t get a 25th anniversary celebration.

But, while this 1996 comedy isn’t a big-name event, even by low-rent Troma standards, it’s still a fair amount of fun if you catch it in the right mood.

If nothing else, it features characters channeling The King and the Beatles engaging in a battle for the hand of a fair modern-day maiden, a blood bank robbery, and a dude named Juju the Voodoo Guru.

Now that’s entertainment!

 

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

100% historically accurate.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it, no matter what presidential scholars might have to say on the matter.

Makes sense that one of our most-revered political leaders might have been pulling double duty, slaying the undead soul-suckers trying to use the Civil War as a cover for taking over the world.

He said with his fingers crossed and a smile on his lips.

Either way, this is an entertaining mish-mash of real-life happenings and fantastical fiction, with a better cast than you might expect bringing just a hint of class to the whole blood-soaked affair.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula

“I never drink … wine.”

Of course, Gary Oldman may occasionally dine on other fluids, or at least that’s the gossip around the old homestead.

Having broken (quite badly) with God after his wife’s suicide, Vlad the Impaler lives on for generations in a new, even more fierce, form.

Driven by an unquenchable thirst, and a burning desire to hook up with a young and dewy Winona Ryder — who looks a lot like his dearly-departed wife — Dracula lets the fangs fly free.

Lush and operatic, Francis Ford Coppola’s revamp of a horror icon still has a lot of bite.

 

Lifeforce

You know, the one with the naked space vampire.

Largely remembered because Mathilda May plays the lead alien invader without the benefit of clothes, this is more than just a peep show.

It’s pretty trippy all around, thanks to creepy special effects and nice directorial touches from Tobe Hooper.

Investigating something lingering in the shadow of Halley’s Comet, a crew stumbles on a ginormous ship full of bat-like creatures and three humanoids trapped in suspended animation.

Instead of immediately hitting warp-speed, they bring their bounty back home, setting off an apocalyptic showdown which remains a treat for all the senses.

Where Blood Lies

Nazis … not the smartest.

On the hunt for a vampire doing its bloody business in war-torn Romania, a pack of Hitler’s “finest” agrees to follow a local man deep into the dark and foreboding woods.

He wants to save his fellow villagers from a bullet to the head, and pledges to lead the Nazis straight to their prey.

Chances any of the swastika wearers return from wandering around in a cave system they never should of entered?

Well, let’s just say Vegas feels really good the house is going to cash in all the chips on that bet.